With the doors locked.
While I don't do it often, I engage in what David Letterman refers to as a "stupid human trick." No, I am not talking about plugging my nose and blowing my eyeballs out of their sockets. Nor am I talking about the middle of the night fall-bounce while running with the dogs tied to my waist. No, this was a repeat performance.
Yes, I locked myself out of the house, only I didn't know it until much, much later.
It started out as a very quiet, morning. The dogs and I rolled out of bed (actually it was more like Kehli sticking her huge nose in my ear to wake me up, while Siddha and Marley had my arms pinned to my sides, but details shmeetails), went downstairs, made the coffee, and sat down to the morning ritual of email and news. A couple hours later, after editing a colleague's piece, I took a shower and headed to campus for fun and meetings.
Because I can be so absent-minded, I more or less have a "leaving the house" ritual. It involves checking that the dogs have food and water and been outside, making sure I have all the books and work-related stuff, and most importantly, I checked to make sure I knew where my keys were. Saw the keys to the house. Check. Grabbed the jacket, the helmet, the gloves, and the keys to the bike, said goodbye to the beasties, and walked out the door.
Four hours later, after several meetings, I went to my office to get a few things and do a "switch out," that is, drop off the stuff I finished with yesterday and this morning, and pick up what I needed for tonight and tomorrow morning. Only, I didn't have my keys. Crap. So, I went to my final meeting, called Mr. Eduabbler, only to find out that he wouldn't be home until after 7PM.
I was stuck.
I had to break into the house.
The first time I did this, I got stuck in the window because it was a small window over the counter in the back of the kitchen. I actually thought I was going to have to call 911 to get me unstuck, only I had left my cell phone in my bag, which was on the ground. I also had the thought that some neighbor would see me trying to break into the back of MY house and call the cops. What a trip that would be. I unstuck myself, and got into the house.
I swore that I would hide a spare key.
The second time I got locked out, I borrowed a neighbor's ladder and climbed into the front porch of the house. That was a lot less stressful in terms of the getting stuck part, but this time I had to then break into the inner door or, figure out how to open one of the windows. Lucky for me, the window to the living room was open.
I went out and had spare keys made and bought one of those hide-a-key things.
This time I borrowed a different neighbor's ladders, sliced the screen on the bathroom window, smashed my hand taking the window apart, and got in the house. I am now sitting on the couch with the dogs sleeping next to me. I am wrapped in a blanket and glad to be home.
This time I will actually put out the damn key and hide-a-key thing.